I.....am an embodied rebel. I am fierce. I am joy.
This may frighten some and attract others. You are here and I welcome you.
I was born a mover. There are pictures of me crawling all over my stroller like it's a play structure. I was always moving. My parents must have known it was my thing because I remember being motivated by statements like, "Lima beans give you energy for jumping on the bed." I only remember jumping on a bed with a pink bedspread. I must have eaten the lima beans.
I was quiet. I was shy. I had an active imagination. Movement was my language, my outlet for energy and expression. All the way through high school and college, I was dissociated most of the time. A deep disconnect, my brain-body's brilliant coping strategy in response to intensity around me. This intensity can be summed up as a paradox of too much and not enough.
Dance saved my life. It brought me back into my body and led me to my path and purpose. I am so wired for connection with others through movement, play, joy AND all the crunchy, achy, hard parts of life. I am mandated to show up in authenticity, to call others to grounded clarity and vulnerability. I am willing to not look good and visit the shadows in order to bring back the wisdom and greatness that was hiding there.
After years of dancing in shared space, I finally gave a name to a dance that might pop out of my body: my ugly dance.
It's not ugly. I just call it that. ....it's rebellious and fierce. It comes out when I am in a shared space where I perceive a lack of connection, where movers seem to be disappearing (blissing out), where my authenticity radar gives a warning signal. It is a bit mischievous -- can I reach you? I see you. Do you see me? It is a bit of commentary -- come on y'all, let's get real? It's a reflection of what's missing and a willingness to be "ugly", not look good, not play along.
It's my embodied rebel. I can dance this for and with myself. If I always move within my familiar repertoire, can I surprise myself with a new way of moving? If I'm having strong emotions, can I show up and embody them fully, safely, effectively to release and metabolize? Can I let go of looking good and just feel and respond to my body's wisdom?
Yes! YES! and YES!!!
I attempted to capture my ugly dance to share with you.
I share it to inspire and invite you to embody your deep authenticity in a new vulnerable way.
I share it to call you home into your body in fierce ways and in joyful ways.
I share it to remind you of what lives in you.
What will you embody today? In voice, in art, in writing, in food making, in a way that surprises even YOU!!
I see you and I love you.